Friday, May 13, 2005

A Couple of Teenagers

Oh god. It hurt. It hurt like hell. Worse than being drained of energy by a sapper and then shot by a Wild West reject gunslinger. Worse than being pummeled with a giant hammer wielded by a carnival strongman, or cut in two by a Rikti blade, or kicked in the stomach by a Crey agent, or speared with flying crystals... it hurt bad.

Noelle curled her fingers into a fist and pulled her empty hand back, wrapping the towel around her slim, shaking body, still clad in a damp bathing suit, and crossed her arms in front of her chest. The tears poured from her eyes.

"Streak, I... I don't know what to say. It doesn't make sense. It is stupid, and I'm sorry, and... I never wanted to hurt you."

She brushed roughly away at the tears that streamed down her face, and got angry. "Look, I don't know how to do this, ok? I don't know what to say, how to act... I don't know where this is supposed to go, what's supposed to happen! Jeez, did you even hear what I said? I think I love you, for god's sake, and I never see you anymore, and I was upset, and scared, and I needed – god! I don't know what I needed! But I wanted you. And you're leaving. So, yes, I turned to someone else. You want me to feel guilty? I do. Does that help? Does that make you feel better about yourself?"

Noelle didn't even notice the ice spreading around them, popping and cracking as it hit the warm water of the swimming pool, as frost silently outlined the spring flowers just beginning to bloom.
Silver-Streak picked his commlink up off of the pool chair where he had dropped it.

"You're right, I wasn't around. I was studying, I was taking classes, and I wasn't wearing this." He pushed a button on his commlink and his nannite costume swarmed to life over his body. "Is this what you missed? The costume, the danger, the boy who was turned into a super weapon by the Army? Because I don't miss this costume one bit.

"Do you know why I'm here? By accident, a freaking accident dropped me here. I might have died in that portal, for all I know my parents and little brother believe that I was shredded in that portal. It shredded everything else that it sucked up, why it didn't kill me is a damned good question. It dropped me here, in Paragon City. A world full of super heroes, where I have a chance at having a normal life.

"Because if I do get a chance to go home again, do you know what kind of life I'll be going back to? There was a Bill before Congress to officially classify me as Government Property. Do you have any idea what that means? I sure as hell don't, but I'm betting that it means that they'd be telling me to kill people for them. And if not that, worse, experimentation." Noelle could barely focus her eyes as his light was glowing so brightly.

"But if I stay here, I get to grow up and take over when Rufus is killed. Then I get to watch Mal put his brain into the MalBot. And then, just when I've lost two of my best friends, I get to watch you die in Battle, against someone that I've never met.

"So you'll have to forgive me for wanting to do something that kids my age are doing. Like getting my drivers license, taking tests, and finding out that my girlfriend is kissing other boys!"
Noelle was sobbing, crying uncontrollably. She thought ... no, it didn't matter. Anything she'd thought about Streak, about his life, about how he'd come into his powers, how he handled them... it didn't come close to what he was revealing now. She couldn't even grasp half of what he was saying -- speaking as if he knew the future, knew what would happen to the Baron, and Mal, and her...

She couldn't.

"Streak, please... I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

She didn't even realize she'd moved, swung her legs off the chaise lounge and knelt on the icy ground in front of him, clutching at his legs, his hands, refusing to let him shake her off.

"Streak..." He still wouldn't meet her eyes, and she pulled his secret, private name from the depths of her heart. "Alex... please look at me. Tell me what I need to do. Don't go like this."

"Tell me there's still hope for us somewhere."
Silver-Streak's eyes steamed as his powers evaporated tears before they'd even formed. He'd lost control of himself, he'd yelled at this girlfriend, he had to regain control before something bad happened.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to dim his glow, as Noelle's skin was already sunburning in his radiance. If he hadn't lost control this wouldn't have happened. Mavra was right, he did need to learn control, she was always right.

"Frosty... I, I..." His voice barely a whisper, he didn't know what to say to her. "Half an hour ago I thought that things were fine, and then you tell me that you missed me so much that you kissed a boy..." His voice sounded deep and far away. "Now you ask me for answers about us, I can't give you answers. As I didn't even know that there was a problem. I was just trying to see what chances I might have of having a life outside of this damned costume." The nanites retreated back into his belt as his glow started to fade.
Noelle took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to calm down, to match Streak's tone. He was right. She'd sprung this on him, and he'd reacted... well, he'd reacted like a 17-year-old boy would. Beyond the powers, the costumes, the Hero I.D. cards and high-tech comm devices, the perilous missions and civic badges and rewards -- they were just kids. Playing at being adults. Learning about love, and relationships, and hurt.

"We can figure it out, though, right?" She reached up towards his face, her fingers hesitating a hair's breath from his glowing skin.

"You can learn what you need to learn, and I can... figure out some stuff myself, right?"

Noelle looked up at him, tears evaporating on her reddening face, and reached that extra centimeter to caress his cheek. "Alex..." Her voice broke.
"Noelle... I, I need to make an attempt at having a life. I can't live with This on my wrist right now." He dropped his commlink to the floor. "And I don't think that you want to live without yours ever. You know I'll be back, but I can't keep doing this. Everytime I put on that uniform, I remember so many things. I thought that I could treat it like a game. I knew that I was making a difference I knew that I was saving lives."
He paused and took a breath.

"Remember when you and I flew all over Indie Port defusing Sky Raider explosives? One of them was in a High School's boiler room. Kids my own age... Kids I should have been sitting in class with. Posters about the Big Game, Posters about the Dance on Friday night. You didn't grow up in public schools like I did. This was what I was missing from my life, something that I'd always looked forward to, and can't ever have. I need to try though..."
Noelle nodded slowly. She knew. It was different for her. This was who she was. There hadn't been any scientific experimentation on her, or tech gadgetry inserted into her. She just... was. And she knew the difference.

But still, she had to clarify something... "I can not do this, Streak. I can chose not to. But... I'm not going to tell you that I want to, because I don't. Not now, at least. Maybe sometime, in the future, but for now... I still think the good we're doing is enough for me. Enough to justify how I live with these powers I have." She looked around and noticed the melting ice surrounding them, noticed the coccoon of chill that pulsed against Streak's warmer glow.

"There's no superhero me. There's just me. Noelle Frost. Not Ice Girl, or Freeze Chick, or any of a thousand other alias for a masked hero. This is who I am, and I'm not..." She took a deep, steadying breath, and rethought what she had to say.

"I'm hoping that someday you'll come back to me. As Alex. And we'll deal with the rest of the world then. And maybe we can figure out what's missing from your life -- from our lives -- together. On our terms."
"I wouldn't ask you to uproot, you're happy here. I'm not, so I need to make myself happy. It's not your job to make me happy, that is my job. You know that I'll come back, and I plan on writing."
She managed a feeble little grin, imagining kitschy postcards from America's largest frying pan and biggest ball of string. "I like writing."

Softly caressing his face, Noelle wished she could draw a smile on his lips, and make everything better. But he was right. That wasn't her job, but something he needed to do, for himself.

"Can I... That is..." She let her hand fall into her lap and struggled to find the right words for what she wanted to say. "Can we have a last goodbye before you go?"

She bit her lip, and looked up at him through downswept lashes, wanting to recapture the closeness they'd had one more time before he left, for god only knew how long.

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