From the Private, Personal Diary of Noelle Frost

Dear Diary -

I know, I know, I know... it's been too long since I've written, but with everything that's been going on with Mal's disappearance, then with the time-swapped Baron, plus trying to find time to spend with Streak...

Well, it just kinda got away from me.

It was so nice earlier this week to spend time with Anna and Erin at Cassie's Mardi Gras party, though I felt a bit of a rube sometimes. I don't think you can get further from New Orleans than the North Pole, and it's times like that when I guess my so-called "frigid" upbringing rears up and reminds me. I had a really good time though... I loved hanging out with "the girls," and can't help but be grateful that they let me tag along.

Streak would laugh at me for feeling so hanger-on-ish, but I have a hard time getting past the idea that I'm just a kid tagging along with these greats like Stateswoman, Dark Neutron, the Baron, and Mal... even Kid Galahad makes me feel like a weak-kneed teenager (but that may be because of who he is). I'm always happy to volunteer to help out on a task force when it's assigned, but something stops me from taking one on myself -- like, I think I'm not good enough to lead, or something. Even on a regular mission from one of usual contacts -- if one of them shows up to help, I happily pass over the command.

I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe this is all just birthday anxiety. Only four days away now, and I think I'm leaning towards treating it like just another day. Just going out there and fighting the good fight, maybe do a little shopping, spend some time with friends.

Gah! It's not like birthday parties up at Base Camp were such a huge thing, either! Just Mom and Popsicle and the other scientists and their families. Mom would order extra supplies like a month before, and I just *knew* when she was baking a cake, as the smells would carry across the cold, cold ice...

I miss them.

Now that the MAGI people have cleared off the last remnants of the Winter Lords, it's back to being warm and seasonable around here, and I can't help but compare this snowless birthday with all the rest, and find it somewhat lacking.

And if that's all not bad enough, I've got crazy anxiety in my belly about V-Day. I mean, for once I have someone to celebrate it with, but I don't want to make a big thing out of it. I don't want to scare him off, though sometimes, I just want to spend every minute of the day just *talking* with him, ya know? The rest is just gravy.

*grins*

I should get back to work. We've got a Storm Knights meeting this evening, and I've a ton to do before then, plus I want to call Mom and Pops.

Laters!

N.