Monday, February 06, 2006

From the Private, Personal Diary of Noelle Frost

Private recording of personal comm

Dear Diary -- it sounds funny to say "Dear Diary" rather than write it, but I'm not home, and not sure when I'm getting back there, and thought I should... I don't know... say something? Leave some record of my thoughts?

I'm in the Shadow Shard. I'm -alone- in the Shadow Shard, and it's... it is beautiful, in places. But it feels, well... cold, in the way that the Arctic never was. Not temperature wise. Solitary? Which is funny, I guess, given all the folks out here -- military guys fighting against the locals, plus the Crey and the Nemmies making trouble. And yet -- you can go for days without seeing another hero. And the communication is... spotty.

I got a message from Derek, from Star Breaker, the other day. I didn't realize he was some sort of telepath. Hard to hide my feelings when someone's talking right into my brain, and I'm talking back at him. I don't think I sounded as calm, cool, and collected, as I would have hoped. But it helped -- talking to a friend.

And then I thought... I mean... I found my old comm device, the one that Mal adjusted, from when Jason was being used by Crey, and we got a team together to help him find out what they were really up to, and that all worked out mostly... and anyway, I didn't know if anyone would still have their comm like that, but it worked better than the regular Alliance one for communications in the Shard... So I sent off a message.

To see if anyone hears.

If anyone's there.

Because everything... [her voice breaks] ... I can't do everything alone. I can't. And I need someone. I don't care if that means I'm weak. I don't care!

I feel like I've mourned Kid already, even if someone that looks like him is still walking around Paragon. And I long ago lost Streak. And Reese was never more than just a phase maybe, or a supreme example of being in the exact wrong place at the exact wrong time.

I need...

I need a friend.

Transmission cuts out.

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