From the Private, Personal Diary of Noelle Frost

Dear Diary –

A wise woman (ok, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) once said "Love makes you do the wacky." I'm not about to argue. This isn't about Kid, though. I love Kid, and I know his love for me... it's like a big rock I can anchor to, when everything else seems changeable and confusing. He's my safe place. When I was... away... it was thoughts of Kid that kept me from losing it completely. And now, I find myself saying I'm going "home" to Kid at the end of a day. We may have moved past the can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other, gotta-get-away-in-between-missions phase, but when we do get together, it's something so much sweeter.

So that's not what I’m talking about.

Puck and Rayne had some kind of big argument, which a whole number of us got dragged into. Mostly for moral support, but I feel like I don't know the whole story, and don't want to take sides. I mean, Puck Fair... Puck is one of my closest friends. We've been hanging out together a lot lately, and I know how happy she was about getting married to Rayne. And what's been said about her and Kessa, and that Rayne didn't know, didn't agree... it just doesn't match with what I know about either Puck or Kessa. Kessa may be a lot of things, but she wouldn't come between a couple like that, not without permission. So does that mean Puck was in the wrong?

Love. Is it the poetic stuff about two souls joining together to find the missing part of each other, that completeness you can only even find in one other person? Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, "You complete me"? But that seems like a bit of a crapshoot. Of all the people in all the worlds, we're supposed to trust, to hope, that we can find that one other matching soul? Isn't it a little more likely that there's lots of possible combinations? I love Kid, and we fit together.

But I also loved Streak, and always will, to some degree. Which... gah. Nora threw me for a loop this past weekend, telling me she spoke with Streak, and that he told her he left because I kissed someone else. Because I kissed Reese, actually, though he doesn't know that. Then she kept pushing me, and pushing me, and pushing me to talk to him, to make things right.

Which... I kinda thought they were all right. I mean, since Streak's been back, we’ve been... good. Fine. But last night, I finally got a chance to talk to him, and it left me... well, it left me unsettled. Someone told me once that in every life, there's always one person you can never get over. Even when you and/or they move on to someone else. And maybe that's Streak for me.

No matter how happy I am with Kid, there'll always be that nagging thought, buried way back in the back of my mind, that maybe, just maybe... Streak and I might get together again. I think it's partly because he said something to me once, about the future. About something the Baron saw in the future when he went though that whole Rikti portal time switch. So will that future happen because it's meant to, or because he told me it might? And though Streak said that nothing's set in stone, that the future's changeable, I guess... I guess it's just like a possibility, somewhere down the line.

I blame Nora for bringing this all up. I love Kid. And I want to be friends with Streak again, and forget I messed it all up. Twice.

And I hope Puck and Rayne work things out.

-- N.